J.M. Tyree, "The First Book of the Chronicles of the Cola War"

The Pepsi vs. Coke story, written in Old Testament language.

(from American Short Fiction, Issue 37)

Kind of one-note, but then, how long would you want the joke to go on? The formula is pretty well-established: Get in, be funny, get out. Still, Diet Black Cherry Vanilla Pepsi Jazz should have had a part in there somewhere. As a destroying angel, perhaps.